Report on How Marshall's doing as of Sept. 14, 2009

I've wanted to start a blog for a long time, and I've finally done it--well, my nephew Jeff showed me how to do it!

Here's a report on how Marshall's doing:

Marshall was diagnosed with congestive heart failure in June, and he's been on hospice since mid-June. Since then, he's had a chance to see all his children and many of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

We're no longer forcing him to eat, so he's losing weight and muscle mass. (He now weighs 142.8 pounds.) He's usually lucid, though he seems to be kind of disconnecting from everyone. Sometimes now when I say something to him, he doesn't register it at all. More often he needs me to repeat what I said more slowly and simply so he can understand.

Jeff said that tonight when he talked to Grandpa, he just winked at him and crossed his fingers--to express how he's doing, something my friend Barbara, Dad's nurse, has explained is a common part of the dying process. The person becomes less verbal.

He's seldom in pain, is very glad he's at home, is unfailingly cheerful and grateful for what we do for him. He laughs at himself when he can't do things, and he still jokes about what's going on.

He spends practically all his time in bed these days, though occasionally he surprises us--last Friday when I suggested he get up, he agreed, got up, looked through the paper, and watched an episode of Perry Mason before going back to bed!

On another day, he seems to be on the verge of death, sleeping very deeply and not interested in eating.

He hallucinates sometimes, and Janie, a woman who does overnight care for him several times a week, says last week he told her he was talking to his wife. That's something new, and I'm assuming it means he's getting closer to dying.

Today he listened to a little of Pride and Prejudice on tape which he enjoys.

He enjoyed a visit last week from Anne Campbell Hagberg, who we consider a member of our family.

Although Marshall is gradually declining, every day is different, with unpredictable ups and downs.

We appreciate your love and concern for him, and hope this blog will help you feel connected to what's happening.

Thanks for reading!

Alison (Marshall's daughter)