My vist with Dad 12-26-10

Hello, Everyone,
I hope you all had a good Christmas.
Even though I was in Utah from Dec. 17 through Dec. 23, I was sick and only able to visit Dad once, so I have a short report again based on that one visit.
My daughter, Christine, my son-in-law, Michael, and I visited Dad on Dec. 18. He was asleep when we came in, which is apparently normal for Dad these days. We walked over to his bed; I touched him on the shoulder and said, “Hi, Dad, it’s Alison.” Without opening his eyes, he said, “Oh, I recognized your voice.” I was so pleased because on the phone it’s hard to tell if he knows who I am.
Dad didn’t open his eyes, so I asked him to open them, and he did.
We told Dad a little about John’s daughter Lisa’s wedding that morning at the Draper temple. It was a cold, windy, rainy day, and John thinks the porticos at the temple simply act as wind tunnels. Dad said, “Oh my!”
We pointed out Christine’s pregnant belly and told Dad that Christine’s pregnant and due in March—something we’ve told him before but that he doesn’t remember. He said, “Oh, how wonderful.”
Michael asked him how he liked the new place he’s in. He didn’t respond. I told Michael I didn’t think Dad knew he was in a new place.
Christine got more of a response from Dad when she told him that their son, Jeffrey, likes to talk about where people were born: he and Oma were born in Provo; Momma was born in California; Daddy and PapaDaddy were born in Louisiana. Dad said, “Where?” Michael told him “New Orleans,” and Dad said, “Oh, uh-huh.” I then chimed in to tell Dad about something I heard on my trip to Utah—I heard someone say, “Nahw Lens.” He chuckled at that. (Dad used to say that he was a teenager before he realized that “Nahw Lens” (where his grandpa could get you anything you wanted) was the same place as New Orleans that he studied about in school!)
Dad had to get up and go to the bathroom, and while the aide was transferring him to a wheelchair, Dad’s pajama bottoms almost fell off him—he’s losing weight.
While I was there, I saw a sheet for the staff to sign up to be a secret Santa for the residents. I was pleased to see that Wendi Mortensen, my friend’s niece who works there, had signed up to be Dad’s secret Santa. It’s good to know she looks in on him daily and loves him too!
She sent another fun picture of Dad—with Santa—in what Mom called Dad’s “teaching pose”—one finger raised as he made a point. (I’ll post it below.)
I’ll visit Dad this next week when I’m again in Utah, and I’ll have a chance to pump the family about how he’s doing. Martha tells me Elaine has a fun story about Dad responding to a joke. I’ll write about all of that in two weeks.
Until then, have a happy New Year and thanks for reading!

Brief report on Dad 12-12-10

Hello, Everyone,

My report today is just from my brief conversation with Dad this evening.

Dad sounded good, though his voice was a bit slurred as we began speaking, but it sounded better very quickly. I told Dad who I was and asked how he was doing, and then there was a little pause. Dad said, "What can I do for you?"--more of a response than I expected, and one that was just what he might have said 10 years ago in a similar situation.

I told Dad that our dear friends in England send their love to him--Sally and her parents Min and Reg Oram. He said, "Oh, isn't that wonderful!" I told him that I write about him and post it on the internet--no response, but that's not surprising: even before he began having problems with dementia, the internet was a great mystery to him. I explained that the Orams read what I write and know what's going on with him. He responded, "Oh, how nice."

I told him that I'd be coming to Utah next week and would be able to see him, and he said, "Isn't that wonderful!" He gave a similar response to news that Christine will try to see him for the part of the day she'll be in Utah.

He chuckled at my story about Jeffrey who is talking more clearly now and who threw a doughnut-shaped toy behind the neighbors' TV the other day. When our friends walked through the door, Jeffrey said, "Doughnut behind TV." The husband understood him perfectly (which really impressed Christine that he could figure out that sentence with no context!).

I told Dad I was looking forward to seeing him next week when I'll be in Utah, and he said he's looking forward to seeing me. I told him I love him and that Christine and Michael send their love as well. He told me that he loves me too. It's hard to know how much he understands, but it's clear he still knows how to be gracious and loving.

I'll have more to report after visiting Dad next week at the new care facility he's in now. I'll be traveling for the next three weeks, but I hope to keep to my schedule and write again about Dad on Dec. 26th.

Merry Christmas, everyone, and (as always) thanks for reading!

Dad's Move 11-28-10

Hello to you all!

This week my big news about Dad is his move to a new care facility.

Here's the address:
Art City Nursing & Rehab
321 E. 800 S.
Springville, UT 84663

My news about his move comes from my brother John.

He was moved to this facility a week ago Thurs. My sister Martha was with him while they moved him out of the old facility and into the new one. Dad took the move very calmly and seemed unfazed by it--Martha was exhausted afterwards, having spent five hours with Dad during the move. The staff at the new facility intentionally put Dad in a room close to the nursing station because of his tendency to try to get up without assistance.

As far as John knows, this facility doesn't have visiting hours either--it's just come when you like. John noted that the staff didn't seem bothered that the family got there just as dinner was ending on Thursday.

Some of the staff members are the same--they came from the other facility to this one also; Johns says that those they interacted with seemed very nice.

For any of you who want to visit, John says there's parking on west side of building.

John also reported that they visited Dad on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day--John, his wife, Elaine, daughters Marie and Lisa, and Court--Lisa's fiance. My sister Martha and her husband, Dave, and their "local crew." They sang Christmas songs for Dad, and he joined in the singing several times, obviously enjoying it very much. (Singing Christmas carols on Thanksgiving Day is a long-standing Craig tradition.)

Now my own news of Dad:

I phoned Dad's new facility today and was able to talk to him for a few minutes.

Dad's speech today was somewhat slurred. We used to worry about that quite a bit, but it's something that seems to come and go and doesn't seem to indicate anything being seriously wrong.

When I asked Dad how he liked his new place, he said, "New place?" I guess it's good he's not aware because it means he won't have to go through much of an adjustment.

I told him that we'd gotten together in Pittsburgh with my sister Christie and her husband, Duane, along with my brother Alan and his wife, Janice, my niece Britta (Lucy's daughter) from Harrisburg and her husband and two girls, Christie's daughter Ruth and her husband and their daughter, and Christie's son Jonathan. His response was something like, "Oh, my!"

I told him I was coming to Utah to go to Lisa's wedding in December. I had to tell him she's John's daughter for him to understand who I was talking about. Again an "Oh my!" (But both times a quite expressive "Oh my"!)

I told Dad I made whole wheat wafers with my grandson, Jeffrey, today. Dad said, "Oh," and clicked his tongue. I was hoping he'd recognize the name of the wafer, an old family favorite, but it didn't sound like he did.

I told him that I've changed the recipe to make it healthy and less sweet, so it tasted like soft hardtack--he chuckled. But I commented that Jeffrey and I had fun cutting out shapes. He said something like, "Well, that sounds fun."

I ended the conversation by saying I wanted to let him know I was thinking of him, and he said, "I think of you every day." Whether he does or not, he still certainly knows how to be gracious and loving to whoever he's speaking to!

I appreciate hearing from those who read the blog, and I appreciate your love and concern for Dad.

We hope those of you in the area will pop in on Dad at his new address, tell him a story or two, and sign the visitors' book.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

The Latest on Dad 11-14-10

Greetings All!

I have some information about a pending change to Dad's care facility from Martha, an email from John about a visit to Dad, and I was able to speak to Dad myself tonight.

My sister Martha phoned me last week to let me know about changes that will be happening at the care facility. The facility is going to be expanded (and maybe remodeled--I can't remember that part clearly), so all the residents will have to move to another facility by Dec 1. The choices are a facility in west Provo (a town just north of Springville), one in Payson (a bit further south of Springville), or a different facility in Springville.

Martha has already discussed the move with the siblings in Utah, and I agreed with her that the one in Springville is best in terms of location, so Dad can continue to be visited by people in his ward in Springville; it will still be close by for Martha and her husband, Dave, to get to; my sister Lucy's husband, Bob, can still go by and see Dad on Sunday nights after working that evening at the Springville Art Museum; and it will still be the same distance for my brother John and his family and for Lucy.

Martha's going to visit the other facility and make sure there's nothing that would make it unacceptable, but it's likely she'll decide on the Springville facility. As soon as I know where Dad will be, I'll put the name, address and phone number on the blog, so people will know where to visit, send cards, and telephone.

Here's John's report on his most recent visit to Dad:

"Dad seemed to clearly know who we were (we did not, however, ask any embarrassing questions) and he participated in the conversation quite fully.

"At one point, I made a rather outrageous comment. Dad leaned my way and said, 'What did you say?' I repeated it. He rolled back on his back and after a dramatic pause said, 'I thought that's what you said'--we all had a good laugh. I mentioned having gotten greetings from Sally Perry [a dear family friend in England] and he seemed to know who she was.

"He followed our descriptions about wedding preparations for Lisa [John's daughter] and Court--including talking about how many cupcakes we'll need (if everyone takes one), the fact that Ruth Seppi Hamilton's [my sister Christie's oldest daughter]dress is going to work (hurray we don't have to buy one--although the financial arrangements with Ruth are TBA), and so on.

"We told him about Marie's [John's younger daughter] band trip to St. George to compete with bands from around the western US and he seemed to be following it. Including Elaine's saying that it seemed a bit hard to be "playing" against your arch rivals (that would be Timpview High in Provo) every time.

"Dad certainly seemed comfortable and alert. Generally when we get there in the 7:15 range or so, he's asleep. He was awake and very alert last night. It was a fun visit."

Now here's my report on my phone call to Dad tonight:

I phoned while Dad was eating supper. They took the phone to him in the dining area and interrupted his meal so we could talk. I apologized for calling in the middle of his supper, and he said, "méiguānxi" (sounds like "may gwan she"), "it doesn't matter" in Mandarin Chinese. It's something Dad used to say all the time, but it's been a year at least since I've heard him use it.

I had chosen two things to tell Dad--that my daughter's having a baby girl in March and a story about my grandson, Jeffrey, of course. He was excited to hear about the new baby, responding with a sentence or two, so I was encouraged to tell him a bit more.

Today Jeffrey told his mother that he's going to be a sister, so she explained to him that he'll have a sister and be a brother. Dad seemed to enjoy the story, so I told him more.

Yesterday I babysat a baby of some friends from church, and Jeffrey was very cute with him, making me feel he'll make a good big brother. Again Dad seemed to follow and enjoy hearing about Jeffrey.

I finished with the story I'd planned to tell. The other day, my daughter told me, Jeffrey was put in time out for deliberately doing something he'd just been told not to do. (When he's in time out, his mother talks to him about why he's in time out, and if he says he's sorry, he gets out sooner. "Sorry" is one of the few words that Jeffrey still says using baby sign--a closed fist making a circle on the chest.)

After Jeffrey said he was sorry and got out of time out, he put his stuffed animals in time out, one after the other, for "make mess." Each time he helped the stuffed animal sign "sorry" before letting it get out of time out! Dad chuckled at the story.

Then I said something to Dad about how noisy it was at the care facility, saying I assumed it was because people were eating. Dad said, "There's a group here--then he paused for a bit--having dinner." You may not think that sounds like a lot of talking, but to me it felt like we had a real conversation.

Thanks for caring about Dad, thanks for reading, and thanks for letting me know you're reading.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Alison

Update on Dad 10-31-10

Hi, All!

Well, I struck out again tonight--Dad was sound asleep when I called. This time I asked the worker when would be a better time to call, so I'm hoping to manage to speak to Dad next time I call.

I do have reports from Christie, from John, and from Dave (Martha's husband).

When my sister Christie called Dad last Sunday, she found him "quite chipper." Rather than just clicking his teeth in response to what she said, he said things like, "Oh, yes," and "Oh, my." Christie felt he was tracking what she was saying more than he has been and says he was in good spirits.

My brother John wrote me a long report about a recent visit with Dad:

Elaine and I went to see Dad last evening and he was more involved in the conversation and more animated than I've seen him in quite some time. He was gesturing (slapping his forehead at something ridiculous-sounding; reaching up to his glasses and resetting them to indicate a kind of "Hmmm" notion) much more than of late. We felt like it was more of a two-way conversation than we'd had in many months.

We were mostly talking about preparations for [their daughter] Lisa's wedding [in December] and he was very clear on what we were talking about. When we mentioned Lisa's in-laws-to-be, Elaine said she'd been very lucky in that regard. Dad said he felt the same way--and repeated it (out of context) just as we were leaving. It was a good visit.

When Martha got there for her recent visit, Dad was listening to a BYU assembly broadcast and she said he was attending to it and apparently following it. 

Dad's had problems with his catheter recently, so a urologist recommended that he get a permanent one. Apparently one of the advantages is less pain. He had the surgery this past week, and here's Dave's report about it:

The surgery [Monday morning] went very well, and Dad was fairly lucid before and after surgery.  We were with him from 10 a.m. until 3:30 p.m.  His surgery began about 11:30 a.m., and he was done by about 1:15 which included a 45 minute period in recovery.  Then, we waited with him until 3:30 when the Care Center van came to pick him up and take him back to Springville.

I read many excerpts to him from Opera Antics & Anecdotes, by Stephen Tanner.  It has some wonderful humor which Dad responded to very well.  We had a great visit.  Martha had to cancel her oboe lessons, but that's what was needed.

Dad still doesn't quite understand what the surgery was all about, what it was for, and forgets our explanations (quite a few) about two minutes after each time we or the nurse explained it to him.

While being with him, my mind was filled with many wonderful experiences we have had together over the years.  I can't imagine (I know, I'm  prejudiced) anyone having a greater and more loving, caring father-in-law.

Anyway, the deed is done.  He came through it in real style.

Tonight when I phoned, I asked the staff member how Dad's been doing with the new catheter. She said he had some pain the first couple of days, but since then he's been doing better with the new catheter.

Thanks for reading, everybody!

Update on Dad 10-17-10

Hello Everyone,

I wasn't able to talk to Dad tonight, but luckily, I have information from a couple of other sources to report on:

My brother, John, has been so busy with his work that he's been unable to visit Dad recently, but he told me that his wife, Elaine, and her mother, Marian Monson--a dear friend of many years--visited Dad and found him much the same as he's been.

My brother Alan's daughter Beth and her husband, Rick, and their five kids visited recently. (This is as reported to John by Alan). Dad was eating a meal when they came, and after Rick introduced the kids--who love their Papadaddy so much, he seemed to lose interest, and he didn't even appear to realize that they had come to visit him. I'm sure that was a disappointment to all of them!

I phoned Beth and Rick with a suggestion for next time, but I just had to leave it on their voice mail: next time, plan a little 5-minute "program" for him, where the kids sing a song, give him a picture they've drawn, sing another song or two, and say goodbye. I explained that Dad can't really hold up his end of an interaction anymore--at least not consistently. I do hope they'll try again.

Christie (my sister in Pittsburgh) told me she spoke to Dad a week ago, and that Bob, our sister Lucy's husband, was there, so they had a three-way conversation. She thought Dad was more comfortable with that kind of conversation--as we've noticed before. She said he actually made a comment himself at one point in the conversation. When I pressed her for details, she said that was it really, but she clearly enjoyed the conversation and felt Dad was enjoying it also and was more engaged and aware than last time they talked.

When I phoned tonight, the nurse explained to me that Bob had just left after a very short visit because Dad kept falling asleep. The nurse didn't feel like it would be a good time to try to get him into his wheelchair and out into the hall where they have to take him so their cordless phone will work. I agreed with her but was sorry not to get to talk to Dad or tell him my stories about my grandson jumping into a pile of leaves and showing off for the web chat with my son-in-law's family. Christine says he loves to see himself on the computer screen and gets very hyper--"high as a kite" as Dad would say!

Thanks to all of you for your love and interest in my Dad, and I'll sign off for the night.

Report on Dad 10-3-10

Hi Everyone!

Tonight's report comes from information I got from my sister Lucy, her husband, Bob, and from my own conversation with Dad.

Lucy saw it was me calling and answered her phone even though she was at choir practice for Martha's Christmas Chorus. So she gave me a very brief report and told me to call Bob who visited Dad tonight. Lucy did tell me that Dad's been more talkative the last few times she's seen him, asking, "How's the family?" He's clearly known who she is, though he's asked her how many kids she has. Lucy says it's much nicer than when Dad just says, "Uh-huh" and doesn't really participate in the conversation at all.

Bob told me that tonight Dad was in the best spirits he's been in for the last three weeks. During visits during the last three weeks, Bob says Dad's been down, responding to questions about how he's doing by saying "Oh, don't ask me!"

Tonight Dad said to Bob several times, "Boy, you look good!" He didn't complain of any pain, but Bob says he has a sore on his hand that may have been from his fall a few weeks ago. Bob, who's trained as an EMT, noticed that it's red all around the sore and asked the nurse to check on it. When Bob told Dad that their daughter Britta is in town with her two girls and that Britta and the girls would be coming by to visit, Dad replied, "I'm looking forward to it!"

When I phoned Dad tonight, his voice sounded strong, and he told me how good it was to hear my voice--it's great to hear him say it even though I know it's his standard line to everyone who calls. I told him a couple of stories about my grandson, Jeffrey, who's now talking in complete sentences. The other night as he was going upstairs to bed, he said, "I'm climbing." (His mom, the linguist, was impressed that he was using the progressive form of the verb!--but I didn't try to explain that part to Dad.)

He chuckled at my story about Jeffrey and the potty: I recently taught Jeffrey "eeny, meeny, minie, mo" to help him make choices, and when he's done flushing the toilet, I ask him if he wants to use the hand sanitizer or the soap to wash his hands. He says, "Mee-mo," and gets both the hand sanitizer and the soap dispenser and puts them side-by-side on the floor, and we say "eeny, meeny, minie, mo." He always chooses the soap, but "eeny, meeny, minie, mo" is an essential part of the ritual. Tonight he put his hand on the soap first while I said "eeny," and that's as far as we got--he picked up the soap. Dad chuckled at the story. I'm so grateful he still has his great sense of humor.

Dad sent his love to all of us here, I told him I loved him, and that was the end of our conversation, and it's the end of my blog--except to say, as always, thanks to all of you for your interest and love!

Report on Dad 9-19-10

Hi, Everyone!

My sister Christie phoned Dad last week and told me about it when we talked earlier in the week, and tonight I spoke briefly with my sister Martha about Dad and also was able to speak to Dad myself.

When I visited Christie in Pittsburgh over the Labor Day weekend, I gave her the phone number of the care facility, and we agreed that we'd call and talk to Dad every other week.

Last week was Christie's week. Christie said that although it was good to be able to talk to Dad, he seemed confused by her stories about family members. That was disappointing to her. I told her that I tried to think of just a couple of stories to tell and kept them very brief. (But Dad may also have been more confused last week than usual.)

When I spoke to Martha tonight, she said Dad has "settled down" again--he's no longer agitated or hyper, and he's sleeping well again. She said that on Monday night, she and her husband, Dave, went to visit Dad and found that Lucy, my sister who lives in Payson, was there with her husband, Bob. So Dave and Bob visited with each other and Martha and Lucy visited, sitting by Dad and "directing" their conversation to him. It sounds like it was a nice visit for everyone.

I was pleased that I got to speak to Dad tonight, and his voice sounded strong. He laughed heartily when I told him that my grandson Jeffrey's favorite part of potty training was flushing the toilet and that he did it often! He was also responsive to my story about Jeffrey climbing out of his crib--which happened for the first time last night.

Since he was being so responsive, I went beyond my two stories and told him that one of Jeffrey's favorite songs right now is "The Boll Weevil" that Dad used to sing to us when we were kids. I went over the start of the verses with him--probably too quickly, but then he asked me to repeat one, and I slowed down and said the whole verse:

"Now, the merchant took half the cotton,
And the boll weevil got the rest.
Didn't leave that farmer's wife..."

Dad filled in the next line, "But one old cotton dress," and I ended it--"And it's full of holes, and it's full of holes."

I also told Dad about seeing "Much Ado" with Christie in Pittsburgh, and he said, "Oh, was it a good production?" I briefly told him that it was done in modern dress, very simply, but that we thought the actors spoke the lines very well.

Dad told me several times how good my voice sounded, and I returned the compliment. We told each other how much we love each other, and we said goodbye. It was a great conversation!

Good night, all, and thanks for reading!

Update on Dad 9-5-10

Greetings, All,

Today was the first time I haven't been able to talk to Dad since I first started calling him, but I have some information from my sister Martha, and I have a sonnet written by Lisa Craig's boyfriend Court for Dad's birthday.

Dad's had a rough week this last week, Martha says. Last Monday night, just after 10 p.m., the phone rang at Martha's house. It was Dad on the phone. Apparently he'd been agitated and saying he needed to call his daughter, and the staff at the care center hadn't been able to calm him, so they called Martha and gave Dad the phone. He said something to Martha about the hospital, and she wondered if maybe he thought she'd been in the hospital because her husband Dave and daughter Emily had visited Dad that day without Martha--who was trying to get some canning done.

It turned out, however, that Dad thought he was in the hospital and he wanted Martha to come take him home. She and Dave went down to the care center and spent an hour there with Dad.

Apparently he's had a mild case of pneumonia and had been on antibiotics--which may or may not relate to what happened. Martha says he talked and talked and talked--more than he's talked in months. Even when a worker came in to give him a breathing treatment where he had to wear a mask over his mouth and nose, he kept right on talking. I asked Martha if he was lucid, and she said he mostly was.

Martha and Dave explained to Dad that he was in a care facility where he'd been for nine months and that there was nobody to take care of him at home anymore. They got him back into his bed and left, and apparently just minutes after they left, he rolled out of bed--somehow not setting off the alarms they have on him. He got a goose-egg on his forehead that had some blood on it and a streak down from one eye.

Also, he didn't sleep at all that night or the next! The care facility can't give him medication without a doctor's orders, and although he has had an order saying he could have a sleeping pill as needed, he hasn't needed any sleeping pills, and the order had expired. The care facility was able to get a new order by Wednesday night, and he did sleep some that night.

I'm not sure when he started feeling the urge to urinate about every 10 minutes--it may have been on Wednesday. On Thursday, Martha had a meeting with the staff about Dad's care. She asked that they check his catheter, and they found build-up of some kind and some irritation. (They changed his catheter, and he's no longer feeling the urge to urinate.)

After the meeting, Martha stopped in to see Dad, but he was asleep, so she didn't wake him.

I didn't get to speak to Dad when I called the care facility tonight, because initially I didn't reach anybody, so I called Martha. After speaking with her, I phoned the care center again, but by then Dad was asleep--and having heard about his week, I didn't want to wake him either. The staff did tell me that he was doing better than he'd been. Martha says she'll call me tomorrow, and I'll certainly add a post to the blog if he continues to have problems in the next two weeks.

Now for a change of pace: John's daughter Lisa and her boyfriend Court had been to the Shakespearean Festival in southern Utah just before Dad's birthday, so being in an Elizabethan mood,  Court composed a sonnet for Dad for his  birthday. Here it is:

Birthday Sonnet

August 5^th, 2010

By Court Roper

For Marshall Craig

While I hate to seem that I am partial

Four score and 14 seems an august age,

And so with this I do proclaim thee, Marshall,

Advanced enough in years to be a sage.

It goes unsaid that we are glad to see you,

Indeed there is no place we'd rather be

Though from this place we fear we cannot free you

And take you to the beach to water-ski

It is not just I feel for your grand-daughter,

Or just the fact that you are 94,

But so we say to our beloved grandfather

Happy Birthday to you! And many more!

We hope this, in the manner of the Bard,

Will serve you for our loving birthday card.

As a postscript: I have been visiting my sister Christie Seppi in Pittsburgh for the Labor Day weekend, and she and I went to a production of Much Ado about Nothing in the park today. I was hoping to be able to tell Dad about. It is one of his wonderful legacies to his family that he has passed on to so many of us his love of Shakespeare.

Thanks for your love and interest in Dad, and thanks for letting me know you're reading.

 Alison

Report on my visit to Utah 8-22-10

Hi, Everybody,

My report tonight is based partly on what my sister Martha told me about Dad's birthday and on my visit to Utah last week.

 

Martha said that our sister Lucy made him a wonderful cake, and lots of family came to see him. Dad said to Martha at one point, "It's wonderful that so many people I love have come to see me when I'm so far away!" I was sorry he didn't understand better where he was, but glad he felt so pleased and honored to have so many of his loved ones around him on his birthday.

I have two pictures of Dad from his birthday, but it t looks like I'll have to put them at the end--I can't figure out how to add text after them!

I was in Utah from August 12-18, and I was able to see Dad three times while I was there. The first time I saw him, I was expecting him to give me the excited greeting he gives most people who visit--"Oh, how good to see you! You look wonderful," etc. Instead, he acted as if I had just stepped out of the room for a minute or two. I decided that was what I wanted--for him not to know I was gone for months and months. 

Dad told me he hurt from head to toe--something unusual for him to admit to. I found the nurse and she brought him Tylenol, and by the end of our visit he was feeling better. I found myself adjusting his pillows for his head and for his feet, and I asked him what he'd call the small blanket or throw he had over his feet, saying I wasn't sure what to call it. He chuckled and said, "I don't call it anything!"

I told Dad another story about New York City. Years ago, Mom took Dad to Grand Central Terminal to a place where the ceiling is arched. She stood in one corner, facing the pillar and Dad stood kitty-corner from her, and they could speak to each other. When Christine, Michael, Jeffrey and I were in NYC, we went to Grand Central Terminal, and I asked where the place was, and we talked to each other--first Michael and I and then Christine and I. 

Dad said he remembered talking to Mom from across the arched ceiling. I told him I was surprised that I heard the speaker's voice as if they were standing right behind me. I told Christine as we talked corner to corner that we were re-enacting a bit of Craig family history. (My sister Christie asked me how I knew about this place; I explained that I reviewed a book about Grand Central Terminal for my website and it mentioned the arched ceiling, reminding me of Mom and Dad's story. She asked how I knew where to find it. That was easy. I went to the information desk under the clock--also described in the book--and asked how to get there.)

I visited with Dad a few days later with Christie who'd come out to help me work on organizing and getting rid of things in the storage shed. As Dad has done in the past, he enjoyed us talking and chuckled appropriately, interjecting uh-huhs now and then. 

When I was visiting with one of my friends in Utah who'd known Dad growing up, she was brought to tears to hear how his ability to speak and carry on a conversation has deteriorated. But I told her that he remains loving and gracious to everyone--a precious thing to retain and certainly as much a part of his essence as his ability to tell a good story, converse intelligently, and speak eloquently. 

I visited Dad again just before I left for Pennsylvania, and he was the most aware and able to converse that he'd been during my visit. (Christie had brought a friend in to do cranial sacral massage on Dad because it had helped her so much. I don't know if it had an effect, but it may well have helped him.) I told Dad a funny story about working for the census--that I won't repeat here: they don't want us talking about our work. He laughed and laughed!

On that last visit, Dad remembered Christine, Michael and Jeffrey's visit from the day before--a big surprise to me that he'd remember it that long. He said Jeffrey wasn't shy, and when I said he didn't have a picture of Jeffrey on his wall with his other great-grandchildren, he said, "Oh, yes," and pointed out where Jeffrey's picture had been put up--another surprise. 

Dad was so loving that day, and it was emotional parting for me since I don't know if I'll see him again--though he's certainly lived far longer than we thought, and his health seems good despite his aches and pains the first day I was there. 

It was bittersweet to see him--lovely to be with him, but hard to leave. I'm comforted as always by the care he gets at the facility. One of the aides who saw me on my first visit, interrupted what she was doing to come and greet me, Nancy Valdez's niece who works in the kitchen took pictures of him on his birthday for me--and for me to share on the blog, and he's obviously a favorite with the staff.

He's also faithfully visited by his home teachers once a month--Fred Huff and his companion Dick Christensen--and Fred and his wife, Jeannine, also visit another time during the month. Family members visit  him often, and other friends and ward members also stop by. If Pennsylvania and Utah were just a little closer to each other, I'd be completely content!

Thank you for reading and caring--as we do--about our wonderful dad!

Here are the pictures of Dad on his 94th birthday:

Brief Update on Dad 8-8-10

Hi, All,

I'm out of town--visiting my niece Ruth Hamilton (Christie's daughter) who lives in New York City, so I'm just going to give you a very brief report on Dad. He turned 94 last Thursday, and I received two photos of him that I'll put up next time--one shows him smiling happily--the other's so small on my cell phone that I can't tell yet whether it will be worth putting up or not. So check back in two weeks to see the birthday picture(s).

I phoned Dad on his birthday, and he sounded cheerful and aware. When I asked him if he remembered how old he was, he said, "Ninety-four, I think--I can hardly believe it!" I was surprised and pleased that he remembered--at least for the day of his birthday.

The pictures came from my friend's niece who works at the facility. They clearly had a celebration for him--there are balloons, and it looks like he has some special sign or lei or something around his neck. He's grinning at the camera. It's a great picture!

I'll write more in two weeks--and I should have more to report because this week I'm going to visit Dad. (Yes, I have traveled a lot this summer!) I'm hoping to see many others while I'm there too!

Love to all,

Alison

Report on Dad 7-25-10

Hi, Everybody,

Well, two weeks have flown by, and it's time for my report on Dad. This week it consists of my conversation with Dad tonight and an excerpt from my brother Alan's letter--he and his wife Janice have been in Utah, and they visited Dad several times--and at least once with Alan's grandkids who really love their Papa-Daddy. Alan sent some more pictures for me to post. 

Dad and I had a nice visit tonight. I told him Jeffrey's fully into his independent stage--he had two melt-downs at supper tonight because food on his fork fell on the floor and because his dad got him out of his high chair--he wanted to do it himself, of course! He's saying all kinds of words now, and Dad laughed when I told him that I'd promised Jeffrey a walk but had to finish something first. Jeffrey stood at the door and pounded on it, saying, "Wa, wa!"

I mentioned to Dad that his 94th birthday is coming up soon (August 5th, to be exact). He said he couldn't believe it and then asked me how old I was. He was amazed that I'm now 56. I told him that John, the youngest of his kids, is now 51. Dad also chuckled when I told him that now that I'm leaving my hair natural--lots of white like my mom's hair--I get offered senior citizen discounts and have to tell people it will be 9 more years before I can collect on them.

I also told Dad I'd be coming to Utah in August--I don't think he'll remember, but he seemed happy to hear it at the time. Like Alan, I think Dad seems to be doing well.

Here's what Alan wrote about Dad:
 I actually think my Dad is doing better than before.  I don’t think he remembers getting visited for more than a few minutes after someone leaves, but he enjoys the visits, and they are good about getting him up and getting him to eat and be part of things at the center.  We had been told that he had fun roasting marshmallows and so we made sure to bring some to the gathering.  Not only did he roast a couple with the great-grandkids, but he happily ate a “smore” that we made from one. 

 They limit him to thickened liquids, but seem to have no other restrictions on his diet and even though they had fed him supper just before we arrived he had watermelon and part of a pulled-pork sandwich, as well as the “smore.”  There have been times when he didn’t seem to know who his kids were when they visited, but he seemed to know exactly who I was all three visits.  He did ask me how old I was three times in the first visit, and I don’t think he really understands who any of my grandkids are (my guess is that he would enjoy a visit from any group of children equally well). 

 Here's Dad roasting marshmallows with a couple of Alan's grandchildren and enjoying a smore. 

Well, that's all for tonight. Thanks for caring about Dad and letting me know you're reading. Best wishes to all! Alison

Update on Dad 7-11-10

Hi, Everybody,

Sorry I didn't get anything posted last week--I was out of town for the weekend and without internet access.

My report today on Dad comes from my sister Martha and from my phone conversation with Dad and my brother-in-law Bob today.

Martha has been working for over a year to get Dad the veteran's benefits he deserves from serving in the Navy in WWII. This last week, she met with a man from the Veterans Administration at the care facility, so he could meet Dad also. She said Dad stayed sitting up in his chair for most of the time the man from the VA was there.

Martha reported that Dad was able to tell the man that he served in the Navy aboard a mine sweeper, but when the man asked Dad where he served, Dad said, "On the West coast." When Martha said he served in the Aleutian Islands, Dad said, "Oh, yes!"

Martha had also seen Dad's wonderful home teacher, Fred Huff, recently. Fred says he's able to carry on a conversation with Dad when he visits--of course, Fred knows to ask Dad about things that Dad's likely to be able to talk about.

Martha says that with them, Dad often gets partway into a sentence and then gets stuck, but that sometimes he does better. She says when Maggie (Christie and Duane's daughter) and her husband, Colt, visited recently, Dad sat on the side of the bed and visited well with them.

Martha also told me that the care facility had a fire pit built outside and invited the residents to a marshmallow roast. Dad came to it and roasted his marshmallows very expertly, the staff reported. My friend Nancy Valdez whose niece works at the facility sent me a picture of Dad enjoying a marshmallow. I'm going to see if I can add it to the blog--something I've never done before.

 Seeing the picture of Dad makes me miss him more! But he certainly seems to be enjoying the marshmallow!

I phoned Dad tonight while my brother-in-law Bob (Lucy's husband) was there visiting, so Bob called me on his cell phone, so I could be on speaker phone and we could all be in on the conversation. At first I thought Dad was going to be pretty unresponsive, but then when Bob asked me about the heat, and I told about trying to ride my bike home from my taekwondo class, getting lost three times--trying a new route home--and finally calling Christine to come pick me up. Dad really laughed, and then said, "Oh, my" when I told about how much water I drank after the ride.

I told Dad and Bob about how much my grandson, Jeffrey, is talking now. I told them he says, "backhoe" because the street beside our house has been dug up and re-dug up and dug up again! Jeffrey's the only one who will be sad when they stop.

I told Dad I see lots of groundhogs here in Pennsylvania, and I've remembered an old folk song Mom used to sing:

In comes Poppa from the plow,
In comes Poppa from the plow,
I want some dinner and I want it now,
Groundhog!

I tried to sing it to Dad--though I can't really remember the tune. I asked him if he remembered it, and he said that when I sang it, it came back to him.

I think Dad enjoyed our three-way conversation that allowed him to listen as Bob and I did most of the talking, with him interjecting comments now and then.

Bob mentioned that Alan is coming to visit this week, and Dad said, "Oh, yes" when I asked if he was looking forward to seeing him. I'm sure Dad will enjoy seeing Alan who lives in the Washington DC area, so they don't get to see each other often.

That's my report.

Love to all of you who love my Dad, and thanks for reading!

Update on Dad 6/20/10

Hi, Everyone,

Well, I have a short report today, based on information from my brother John, my brother Alan, and my own brief conversation with Dad today.

John and his daughter Lisa went to visit Dad this week with Lisa's boyfriend, Court. Dad seemed much as he's been, John said. He talked with them about one of the pictures in his room, but was confused about who the people were. (He seems to invent a story about the picture if he can't remember who's who.) John wants to make sure Court will not expect Dad to recognize him the next time he sees him--although Dad's so gracious, Court may not be able to tell that he doesn't recognize him.

My brother Alan called to report that his father-in-law, Darrell, and Darrell's friend, Jeri, visited Dad again today. They said he was very talkative and told them about the pictures in his room. (Alan commented to me that he wasn't sure the information Dad told was accurate. I'm actually curious to know if he tells the same story about the same picture to each visitor or not!)

Darrell mentioned that he'd be phoning Alan and Janice today, and Dad asked how often they spoke and asked Darrell to send his love to both of them.

I also phoned and spoke to Dad today. His voice was strong, and he sounded cheery as always. Although I'm sure the care facility staff talked to him about it being Father's Day today--and probably celebrated in some way--Dad was surprised when I wished him a happy Father's Day.

I didn't have any Jeffrey stories to tell Dad today--my daughter, son-in-law, and grandson have been in Boston for a family get together with my son-in-law's family. I told Dad that I stayed home and worked on the census, but I couldn't think of a single funny story to tell him. I was sorry I couldn't come up with something funny to say because Dad does enjoy a good story!

As we said our goodbyes, we each expressed our love several times--a great way to end our conversation.

I've heard from several people recently about how they enjoy reading my blog--it's good to hear! Thanks to all of you for your interest and love.

Alison

Report on Dad 6-6-10

Greetings, Eveyone!

Well, I have another brief update on Dad, gleaned from my own conversation with him tonight, from a report by Dad's former hospice nurse, Barbara, from a report by Christie who's visiting in Utah right now, and from a brief report by one of Dad's colleagues and friends from BYU's English Department.

I'll start with Barbara's report. She stopped by to see Dad this week and reported that he seemed to be doing well and that the staff at the care center told her he was "just the same." Barbara says that's a good report for someone Dad's age!

My sister Christie from Pittsburgh is visiting in Utah now. She told me that Dad seemed to know who she was. She took a picture of her granddaughter Eliana Hamilton, her oldest daughter's baby, and explained to Dad who everyone in the picture was. She also told him who some of the great-grandchildren are who are in the big picture on his wall--he's no longer remembering who they are.

Christie visited Dad again just a day or two ago and reported to me that he seemed to be doing well that day. She visited with him while he was having dinner and said, "He seemed every bit as alert as he was when he was last at home. I think he goes in and out of how alert he is. But after dinner he was pretty tired and just wanted to lie down."

When I spoke with Dad tonight, his voice sounded strong. When he got on the phone, I said, "Hi, Dad, this is Alison." He replied, "Well, hi, this is your dad!"--sounding alert and aware.

Dad chuckled when I told him that my grandson Jeffrey now says, "I do it" about everything--whether he can really do it or not.

And Dad really laughed at my story about Jeffrey and the bathroom door. I use the bathroom on the main floor the most, and it opens right into the livingroom. Jeffrey has learned to open the door and opens it whenever I'm in there and he's around. (The door has a very stiff lock, so usually we don't use it.) Today I put a child-proof cover on the door knob, so the door will only open if you press on the cover just right.

So today when I was using the bathroom, Jeffrey kept fiddling with the knob and managed to get the door open anyway. It was wonderful to hear Dad's great laugh!

Dad also seemed to follow my story about surprising my sister-in-law in the Washington DC temple yesterday. I'd told my brother Alan I would be coming, but I guess he hadn't mentioned it to his wife, Janice. I knew Janice worked at the temple on Saturdays, but I hadn't been sure that she and Alan were in town. I had my eye out for her before and after our sealing session and our special stake meeting, but by the time we were in a session, I'd given up on seeing her. But right at the end of the session, we got to see each other and share a big hug. It was a great moment for both of us.

There was one sadder moment in our conversation. I mentioned that Christie was visiting, and Dad said, "It's not the same though." Then he didn't seem able to explain himself more. After a pause, I said, "Because you're not at home?" Dad said, "Yes, I'm here in this place." I agreed that it was different and asked if they were taking good care of him there. He said, "Oh, yes." It's hard to hear even though we all know the care center is not where Dad would like to be.

Finally, to round out my report, Elouise Bell, one of Dad's former students and then his colleague for many years, has been phoning English Department members to encourage them to visit Dad. (She lives in Oklahoma, so she's too far away to visit.) She sent me Doug Thayer's report of his visit:

Went to visit Marshall. Looked good, cogent, but was eating supper so didn’t stay long. Will go out again. Mentioned to [others from the department] that Marshall would enjoy visitors. Will keep spreading the word."

As always, thank you for your love and interest. Best wishes to you all.

Alison

Update on Dad 5-23-10

Greetings, Everyone!

Well, Dad seems to be doing well. He told me tonight that he surprises himself with how well he's doing. When the aide was taking the phone to Dad, I overheard her telling him that it was his daughter on the phone. He said, "Oh, which one?" I thought that showed an amazing level of awareness. As always, he seemed to enjoy my stories, and sounded please to hear about our dear friends the Orams in England and hear a bit of news about them. His voice sounded good, and as always, he was cheerful and loving.

The nurse told me that my brother had just visited--I actually wasn't sure if it was my brother John or my brother-in-law Bob who often visits on Sunday. Dad couldn't remember, but that's not anything unusual.

Christie's son Jonathan Seppi visited Dad last week with his sister Maggie and John's daughter Lisa. Jonathan said he didn't think "Pappa Daddy"--as they call him in Christie's family--knew who he or Maggie were. They don't get to see him very often.) But Jonathan thought Dad knew who Lisa was. I think it was hard for Jonathan to see how much Dad's memory's declined.

However, I also spoke to Dad's wonderful home teacher in Springville recently, Fred Huff, and he had a different perspective. The family's been worried that Dad hasn't been getting enough visitors, so my assignment was to call Fred and see if he could arrange for different people in our ward to visit once a week.

For those of you who are not Mormon, you need to understand that home teachers are assigned to visit once a month--well, Fred told me he and his companion visit Dad twice a month, and Fred and his wife visit once or twice a month in addition! They just hadn't been writing their visits down in our visitors book, so the family hadn't realized Dad was being visited so often.

I also said to Fred that if anyone else visited, they'd probably need to be warned that they should plan on doing all the talking and that Dad couldn't really carry on a conversation. Fred said that they have good conversations when they visit, and Fred has known Dad for so many years that he can steer the conversation to things Dad can talk about more easily--like his great Navy stories. We appreciate Fred so much, and he's agreed to sign the visitors' log, so the family knows about the visits.

I also heard that my brother Alan's father-in-law, Darrell Robinette, and Darrell's friend Jeri Charlier visited Dad recently. They weren't sure he'd remember either of them, but when they got there, they were sure he recognized them both. Darrell said Dad couldn't remember something his Dad had told him, and he couldn't remember how many men were on one of the mine sweepers Dad served on in WWII, but those lapses seemed minor. They had a good visit and plan to visit again.

Christie's going to Utah next week for a visit and looking forward to seeing Dad. She's hoping to come up with a way to get a cell phone that can be used to call Dad.

As always, thanks so much to all of you for your interest and your love.

Report on Dad May 9, 2010

Hi, All,

I checked in with my brother John today about how Dad's been when he's visited. He visited Dad with his oldest daughter Lisa recently. John reports that Dad was much the same as he was the last time John saw him, responsive and attentive, but not initiating conversation. Dad said he was feeling well, and he seemed to be in good spirits.

John's wife Elaine also visited Dad recently with her mom, Marian Monson, and Lisa. Elaine reports that Dad enjoyed that visit very much. (Marian is a long-time friend--Dad has known her for decades, from even before her husband, Sam, and Dad taught together in the English Department at BYU, enjoying many years together as friends and colleagues.)

John mentioned that my sister Martha's husband, Dave, had described a time recently when Dad was confused about who the people were in pictures he has in his room.

Lucy sent me a report on a recent visit she had with Dad where he was also confused:

"I went to see Dad and he was sitting in the TV area. He was very chatty although not making a lot of sense. I think some of what he was saying was about the basketball game on TV although he kept calling the teams a group. He told the nurse I was his cousin and when I left, he told me to give his love to Aunt Doll. [It sounds like he was thinking of Lucy as one of his cousins that he grew up with and was close to.]

"Physically he seems in good shape and he's very sweet with the nurses. The one fairly new nurse said Dad had remembered his name, so the memory thing isn't constant. He seems content."

I spoke to Dad briefly twice since my last report. Elaine phoned me when she was visiting, and I spoke to Dad again tonight. He's clearly genuinely pleased to hear from me--whether he knows who I am or not. (I know from when we were caring for him at home that he's unfailingly gracious to everyone who phones or visits.)

As at other times, I told him a couple of fun stories, and told him I love and miss him. I explained that I'd received training as a census worker last week, to go to the homes of those who haven't returned their census forms. I told him I'd be standing on porches saying to the man or woman standing in front of me, "Are you male or female?" He chuckled at that and at my stories about my grandson who has learned to say cookie--which he pronounces "ugh," but which he very much wants to eat!

When I asked Dad how his day had been, he said his days were pretty much the same. I wanted to ask if he'd attended the LDS Sacrament Meeting they hold there every Sunday, but I assumed that by evening he wouldn't remember even if he had attended.

I have a friend who believes that a person becomes more of who and what they are as they age. I'm not sure that's always true, but I'm grateful that with Dad what is left is a gracious, loving man who treats everyone with kindness and good humor.

As always, thanks for reading and caring!

Update for April 25, 2010

Hi, Everybody,

I have quite a short report on Dad again this week. (I tried to contact family for reports on how Dad's doing, but I was only able to reach Martha.)

Martha says that Dad is always very pleased to see them. Even if he's asleep when they arrive, he usually wakes up if Martha calls his name.

She reported that the staff members at the care facility say Dad often doesn’t get up for dinner, but since he eats a good breakfast and lunch, they don’t worry about him missing dinner. (We were told a couple of years ago that Dad probably only needs two meals a day because his activity level is so low.)

Martha reported that she's finished reading Dad House at Pooh Corner, one of the Winne-the-Pooh books. She says she wasn't always sure whether Dad was listening to the entire chapter, but she read a chapter each time she visited. She's also read him some verses from Now We Are Six and When We Were Very Young, Milne's books of children's verses. Dad mouthed the words along with her for some of the verses he knows so well from our childhoods—“Lines and Squares” and “Disobedience” and “The King’s Breakfast.”

I'm suddenly remembering that Dad used to recite "Lines and Squares" to me when he'd pick me up from pre-school at BYU. We'd go to his office in the McKay Building where there were big squares on the floors in the hall, and as he recited, "Look at me walking in all of the squares," I would take great big steps to make sure I was avoiding all the lines and walking in all of the squares!

Martha says she doesn't think that her husband, Dave, had ever read the Winnie-the-Pooh books either, so it's been fun for him to hear them as Martha's read them to Dad. Enjoying Winnie-the-Pooh as an adult is also carrying on a fine Craig tradition. When Dad was in the Navy in World War II, Mom sent him a copy of Winnie-the-Pooh, which he'd never read before.

Tonight I phoned and spoke to Dad for a few minutes. He told me he was happy to hear from me, and his voice sounded strong. He chuckled as I told him about my grandson, Jeffrey, who's 20 months old and entering the "terrible twos." The other night when he woke up in the night, Christine told me he kept crying for me--to the point where Christine wondered if she should come wake me up. But the next day when I came home from being out for most of the day, Christine asked him if he wanted to give me kisses, he said (in his sweet little voice), "No." "Do you want to give Oma Eskimo kisses?" "No." "Do you want to give Oma loves?" "No."

When I told Dad that I loved him and missed him, he said, "Well, what I have to say is, 'Repeat, repeat!'"

We're concerned that Dad's not getting visited as much as we'd like. We're going to see if someone from the ward can visit him once a week, so he gets more visits. If you're interested and able to go see him, we'd appreciate it. Be prepared to tell him some stories--he's not really able to have a conversation anymore. Visits can be very short, but please sign the book on his dresser, so we know you visited.

As always, thank you for your love and interest in Dad!

Update on Dad 4-11-10

Hi, Everybody,

Well, it's been a stellar two weeks for me in terms of talking to Dad--I've been able to talk to him three times since I last wrote!

My brother John called me at the beginning of April, and he happened to catch me when I was with my sister Christie, so we both got to talk to Dad briefly. His voice sounded good, he seemed happy and interested in what we were saying.

When we talk to Dad these days, we have to do almost all the talking, so I try to remember things I'm going to want to tell him. I can't now remember what I told him about on that first phone call, probably about going to DC to visit a friend of Christie's, to stay with and visit our brother Alan and his wife, Janice, to go to the temple, and to visit our niece, Britta Schroeder and her family in Harrisburg.

I think Christie told Dad a little about her plans--she and her husband will be taking a number of trips this summer.

Then on Easter, my friend Nancy Valdez phoned me while she and her sister were visiting Dad. I was able to wish him a happy Easter, and Nancy found out through her niece who works at the care facility that it's possible to phone the care center and have them take a phone in to Dad.

So tonight I phoned Dad, and his voice sounded strong, he sounded pleased to hear from me, and enjoyed hearing about my discovery about the nondescript bush in the back yard of our apartment. I usually only see it either from my bedroom window in the basement or from the kitchen window, and I hadn't noticed anything remarkable about it at all, but last week I looked out Christine and Michael's bedroom and saw the bush from above--it's an Eastern dogwood, and it's in bloom! (All the blooms face up, so you don't see them from underneath.)

I was excited to tell Dad about it because years ago, Dad planted an Eastern dogwood in our yard--a bush that's not supposed to grow in Utah's alkaline soil. It's flourished there for many years, and Richard Drollinger who taught biology for many years at the high school used to bring his students to see our Eastern dogwood. Who knows--it may be in bloom now in Utah, just like the dogwood in our backyard!

I also tonight had my grandson, Jeffrey, "talk" to Papadaddy on the phone. Of course he waved to Papadaddy instead of saying hi. I got him to say "Uh-oh," his first word and still a favorite, though "No" is a close second now. Christine got Jeffrey to do his lion roar--a soft little growl, and we got him to make the sound he makes for "tweet, tweet," a soft, high squeaking sound. Dad wasn't able to hear them very well but enjoyed the interaction with Jeffrey.

One of the things we were worried about with Dad going off hospice care was that Medicare won't pay for his variable pressure mattress pad which helps to keep him from getting bed sores, but Martha called me this week to tell that the care facility has decided to purchase a variable pressure pad for Dad to use--we're delighted and again grateful that he's in such a good facility.

Thanks to all who care about Dad and to all who let me know you're reading my blog!

Update on Dad 3-28-10

Hi, Everybody,

I have some first-hand news this week because my brother John phoned me when he and his wife, Elaine, and their daughter Marie were visiting Dad this last week.

I was able to tell Dad about a sister missionary I met at the Washington DC Temple visitors' center. She's from Shanghai. Her parents came to the US fourteen years ago for her father to do some postdoctoral research. They encountered the Church, were baptized, and a year later were sealed in the Washington DC temple. Then they returned to China where they've lived the gospel without being able to meet with any other members for twelve years. Two years ago the Chinese government started allowing Chinese Church members to meet for Sunday services. The missionary says she feels she's in her second home being at the DC temple.

Of course, it's hard to know just how much Dad took in of what I said, but I was so excited to tell him because he's been so interested in the progress of the Church in China since he and Mom spent three years there.

Dad sounded interested and responsive--to that story and to another about Jeffrey, my grandson. (I can't remember now which story I told him--there are so many to choose from!)

John told me later that Dad was alert and responsive with him, Elaine and Marie also. His hospice nurse, Barbara, told me that he'd told her one of his stories (one that I've told her is one of his standards), but it's one she hasn't heard in a long time--I think since before he went to the care facility.

Barbara also had some good news/bad news to tell me. Because Dad's been doing so well, he's being taken off hospice. He has lost some weight and his upper arm circumference has gone down, but otherwise, he's stable and doing well.

This change means he'll no longer have his wonderful aide, Cris, who has come in to bathe and dress him five days a week. She knows him so well and is so loving to him! Now the aides at the care facility will bathe and dress him. I'm sure they will be kind and caring, but we'll miss having Cris to watch over him.

Being taken off hospice also means that Dad will no longer have his wonderful hospice nurse, Barbara, who checked on him weekly. We have so much appreciated her meticulous care of Dad! Now nurses at the facility will be in charge of his care.

The change won't mean much difference financially--it will mean that Dad will again be paying co-pays on his medicines, but his insurance will pay for most of the cost, and he's already paying for the care facility, so there won't be a change there. Martha informed me some weeks ago that Dad money is able to cover his expenses, so we don't have to worry about that.

It looks like Dad will be around longer than any of us expected! Thanks to all of you who read about Dad--and to all who let me know you're reading. I hope you all have a blessed and lovely Easter.

Reports from Christie and Bob on Dad

Hi, Everybody,

I've received reports from Christie and from Bob on Dad, so I'll include them here.

Christie visited in early February. Here's her report on her visits with Dad:

"I saw Dad almost every day while I was in Utah. He seemed very pleased that I was there. I think he knew who I was at least most of the time. Some of our visits were pretty short because he was tired and did not want to talk, but we had one visit where he asked about the kids and seemed interested in hearing about them. One visit was at dinner time. Dad was in the diningroom, and one of the staff members was helping him eat. She let me take over the task and Dad ate all of his dinner, with me feeding him. He then ate his dessert--pumpkin pie, all by himself.

"I was impressed with the staff members that I met. They were all very kind and not condescending to the patients."

Here's Bob's information on Dad from March 1:

"Papa is always happy to see me. He still calls me by name and is warm and loving to me every time I visit. In addition, he is always full of appreciation for my visits. I feel he is some what lonely, bored, and trapped in a time in life that I am not looking forward to myself.

"He often struggles to complete his thoughts and as always he appreciates my patience and willingness to wait for him to complete his thoughts the best he can. He enjoys seeing photos of family and listening to stories about what they are doing. Although I feel he is frustrated when he is put in a situation where he has to sort out who belongs to who and where everyone fits together. I wonder if that is why he is not as interested in trying to talk to family on the phone -
I feel like it is just so hard for him to put it all together.

"One thing that always helps me be reconciled with having Papa Daddy live at the care center is the obvious love that everyone there has for him. I can tell they do love him because they have picked up on the little personality traits of Dad from their conversation with him - they can mimic back to you the way he laughs and the way he says things - the gestures. I am comforted by knowing they have taken the time to enjoy him.

"I try to visit with Dad at least twice a week - I truly wish I could do more - I feel like I should try to do more. Last week I went over to visit with Dad for Lucy one evening but Papa was sleeping so soundly that he did not wake-up while I was there even though I was there for over a half hour. That is the only visit with him that I have had that he did not awaken when I touched his arm and hands. I decided he needed the sleep more than the conversation.

"The family needs to know that the staff at the care center are so impressed with us as a family. They said that we are the most dedicated family they know - it is so impressive to them that we have family who live so far away who spend the time and expense to travel and visit as consistently as we do as a family. I too am impressed and I am so thankful for all of the family and feel lucky to be a part of this wonderful family."

Now just a little postscript from Alison: Dad's wonderful nurse, Barbara, had Dad checked after he finished his antibiotic for his urinary tract infection--he still had an infection, so he's now on another antibiotic. I'm so grateful for her care and attention to detail!

Thanks to all who care about Dad and read this blog. And I love to hear from you, so I know you're out there! I'll be posting again in two weeks.

Report of Granddaughter's Visit to Dad

Recently, Alan's middle daughter, Sandy, and her family were in Utah and visited Dad. I heard a bit from Alan about the visit and then spoke to Sandy about it.

Dad was asleep when they came to visit, but they didn't realize he's now hooked up to three different alarms, so the staff will know when he's getting up. As they came close to his bed, they set off one of the alarms. Greg, Sandy's husband, was able to get it turned off, and Dad woke up, not startled but just gently came awake.

Sandy said Dad was very alert and responsive. She didn't think he knew exactly who they were, but she was aware that he knew they were family--that they loved him and that he loved them.

He told them how well they were treating him at the facility, saying, "Everybody's treating me like I'm somebody important!" Sandy asked if Dad had seen Christie who was visiting from Pennsylvania, and Dad said, "Oh, yes!"--surprising when Dad usually can't remember who visited him earlier that same day!

Sandy said the kids were nervous (they haven't seen their Papadaddy in more than a year, I'd guess). But Zach, their 5-year-old, was the least nervous and sang two songs, with Andrew, their 8-year-old, joining in. They sang the "ABC Song" and "I Am a Child of God," and Sandy said she thought Dad could have joined in and sung along. He didn't, but he enjoyed the kids and the songs very much.

When they were ready to leave, Sandy suggested to their youngest, Ava, that she give Papadaddy a hug. Dad said, "I don't think she's quite ready for that!" Sandy was amazed that Dad was able to read Ava's cues so clearly.

Sandy emphasized that she doesn't think Dad is usually so alert and responsive, but she said that it was a great experience for them.

I'll write more in two weeks.

Short update on Dad 2/14/10

I finally had a chance to talk to Dad this week. Christie, who lives in Pittsburgh, is in Utah, and she called me on her cell phone while she was visiting Dad. I said hi to Dad, and Christie reported that he waved to say hi to me. He said he was doing very well, and he chuckled as I told him a cute story about my grandson.

I was glad Christie was there to help the conversation along because Dad said very little. Christie suggested I tell him about our trip to Punxsutawney, PA for Groundhog Day. He chuckled a couple of times and made a few comments--"Oh, my," etc. Christie later told me that he was smiling and reacting to what I was saying, gesturing at times. That was good to hear.

Christie also reported that he'd seemed to recognize her and her husband, Duane, when they came to visit and had asked about their kids.

Christie also reported that Dad kept trying to get out of bed to urinate while she was visiting. He has a catheter, but kept feeling the urge to go. Dad's great nurse, Barbara, checked, and Dad has a urinary tract infection. He's on an antibiotic, but it's not clear if it's cleared up the infection. A staff member at the care center told me he's not trying to get out of bed as often. They will do another culture three days after they take him off the antibiotic to see if the infection is cleared up or not.

I'll write again in two weeks. As always, thanks for your love and concern.

A report from Bob from Jan. 4

I wanted to include this report on Dad from Bob, Lucy's husband. It was written on Jan. 4, but is so lovely and loving that I wanted everyone to be able to read it:

"I visited with Papa Daddy last night [Jan. 3] after working at the [Springville Art] Museum. When I first got there, his room was dark but he was wide awake and knew it was me entering the room even before I had rounded the curtains. He called me by name and said to me as always, “It is so nice to have you come visit.” I also observed that he lies in bed peering out through the light of the hallway shining from the slit between the curtains and the wall - watching and waiting for someone to come visit him.

"I also asked him questions about his day and if he remembered being visited by anyone today. I think he tried four time to say something to answer my question and each time he would start and then would get to a point where he struggled – he was able to finish his whole thought on the last try. He said, “My day has been mostly as an individual.” Although when I checked the guest book, Alison had been there visiting with him for about 45 minutes just about an hour earlier from when I got there.

"I tried to get him to talk to me about what it was like at mid-shipmen's school. He started off to answer with some thought hanging and finally said, “ That was so many years ago it is hard for me to remember--well, I remember but it is hard to recall.” He did say that it was different than pilot school in that in mid-shipman’s school they spent more time in the classroom.

"I shared with him some things about Louise’s plans while she will be in PA and told him I would miss her and that it will be the longest period of time she and I will have been apart in almost 28 years. He said that I most likely will manage. I told him that I was planning on coming over to visit with him more while she is gone. He said, “That will be good, that will be good.” Dad was alert and happy, he was glad to see me, he held my hand during the whole visit. He did say, “Oh, your hands are cold.”

"I noticed he had eaten almost everything on his plate from dinner or the dog or the cat cleaned it up for him. [Actually, it was me, Alison--I hadn't had any dinner, so I finished what Dad left on his plate.] Both of his fluids were mostly gone and he did not request any more drink or snacks while I was there.

"He again expressed a desire to have family members read to him from some of the books he read to the family years ago. Lucy found some of those books – maybe she can either gather them together for me to take over or she can help me post the list of titles in the blog for others to find and bring to read from their own collections of books.

"As I was leaving Dad I gave him a hug and a kiss, and I told him I loved him, and as always he replied, “You know how much I love you too.” Thank you all for everything you all have done – even though I too desire that Dad will comfortably die and continue on his journeys – I am ever so thankful for his love of me personally and I feel a wonderful strength from him that supports me in all that I do – just as I am sure all of you do. I give thanks to our Father in Heaven for allowing me to be part of his life and all of your lives. I am a much better person because of you all. May the Lord bless us all as we help make life and dying a time of joy and love for Papa Daddy."

Sorry to be so slow to get anything up on the blog since I left. I did have someone in Utah offer to post to the blog, but I think time's been an issue, so it hasn't happened yet.

I'm including here an email from my sister Martha about Dad falling recently:

"Last night just after 10:00 we got a call from the nursing home. 5 minutes after the staff got Dad settled for the night, he got up on his own and walked over toward the sink where he fell and cut his head, on the crown, (a T-shaped cut, but with a short stem and long cross-stroke). They had cleaned it up and had him in a wheelchair. We took him to the emergency room, where they decided it didn't need stitches. They did a chest x-ray because he said he had some pain on one side, and a CAT scan to make sure there was no brain bleed. Both were clear. We got him back to the care center and ourselves home by about 1:30.

"The very helpful young man who was on duty [at the care facility] then showed me the two alarms they have for him now. (Apparently the one that has been attached to him and the bed was missing.) They have one pinned to his pajama top that pulls a cord out of the wall and makes a loud noise if he tries to sit up. They also have installed a motion sensor in the plug low on the wall just out from the head of his bed. It works much like the one we used at home. Any legs hanging over toward the floor will set it off. So will anyone standing close to the side of his bed, so we all need to learn to turn off the switch on the side of it when we visit and be sure to reactivate it when we leave.

"The nurse had given Dad some Tylenol before we got there last night, and he was in very little pain while we were there. The hospital sent some antibiotic cream to be put on the wound several times a day. They have those instructions at the care center. I imagine that his head may be more painful the next few days, but feel very grateful that the injury was not much worse. I talked to Dad twice about the importance of getting help when he needs to get up, but I doubt that he will remember. When we were visiting last time I used the call button to get someone to help him to the bathroom and he had no idea how to do that! I think they are doing the best they can to keep him safe."

Now it's Alison again: I haven't been able to speak to Dad since I moved to Pennsylvania in early January. Those of us who don't live nearby are dependent on family members in Utah phoning us when they visit Dad, so we can talk to him. I'm sad to say I haven't received a phone call yet.

However, I have heard from several family members that Dad's been more talkative recently, speaking in full sentences, enjoying conversations. Martha told me that recently when she and her husband, Dave, visited Dad in the evening, he said it was nice to have someone to say goodnight to. Martha was sorry she didn't think to have prayer with Dad, but plans to visit again in the evening and have prayer with Dad.

But Dad's not consistently aware and engaged. Here's a recent email from my sister Louise (Lucy to the family). She's been in Pennsylvania visiting her daughter Britta and Britta's family--especially Lucy's grandkids there:

"We saw Dad last night and I was never sure he knew who I was. I told him about my trip, but I think he got tired of listening. I'm sure he didn't know who I was referring to much of the time when I was talking about grandkids and great grandkids, and if he didn't know who I was on top of that, I can certainly imagine him getting tired of listening. He asked to go out in the front and watch TV, so we took him out, and he apparently stayed for 1-1/2 to 2 hrs."

Back to Alison: Dad's got a bedsore, but the staff now has a schedule for turning Dad, and Barbara, Dad's nurse, is impressed with what the care center is doing and believes the bedsore will heal quickly. Barbara also reported that Dad mostly responded to her with tongue clicks and gestures.

I'll try to make sure that someone posts to the blog more often. Thank you to all of you for your love and interest in Dad.

Lucy

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How Dad's doing through 1/3/10

This last week, in addition to the usual family members, Dad's had visits from my brother Alan (who lives in the DC area) and from the bishop of our ward. He's had a card from my sister Christie in Pittsburgh with pictures of his newest great-grandchild, Eliana Sophie Hamilton, Christie and Duane's first grandchild, daughter of their oldest daughter Ruth Seppi Hamilton. (Dad's 21st great-grandchild, if I'm counting correctly.)

Dad spoke by phone to Christie and her son Jonathan today while I was visiting Dad, and he received a card from his beloved student and then colleague, Elouise Bell. Elouise wisely sent a picture of herself, and Dad was able to read some of the card--trifocals and reading while in bed make focusing tricky! I mentioned that Elouise looked much the same to me, and Dad agreed.

Dad seemed a bit more alert today than he was yesterday or last week, responding with full sentences at times when he spoke. I talked to him about something I've mentioned to him before but that I don't think he remembers--I'm moving to Pennsylvania on Friday to live with my daughter, son-in-law, and grandson. I don't know that he'll remember this time either, and I don't know if it's better for him to remember or not.

I'd heard that at supper time, Dad asks the aides where his daughter is--that made me feel sad! So yesterday and today (my days to visit Dad this week), I arrived at supper time and helped Dad eat.

After supper today, I suggested we have family prayer, and I knelt by his bedside, just as I used to do at home. I reached under the covers to hold Dad's hand, apologizing because my hand was so cold. As I said the prayer, Dad gently rubbed my hand to warm it up. I was so moved by his loving gesture that I could hardly say the prayer. It was a precious moment that I hope I will always remember!

You may be wondering what will happen to this blog now that I'm moving away. Having received a thundering silence from my family on the subject of who is going to take over from me, I've decided I'll keep it going long distance. That will give me a chance to keep current on Dad's situation and keep in contact with my siblings and other family here. I'll try to update the blog at least every other week.

My brother John has agreed to bring his laptop with a webcam when he visits Dad and do a video conference with me, so I can see Dad, and Dad can see me. It won't be the same as being able to kiss him, adjust his bed and pillows, help him eat and drink, and hold his hand, but it will be better than not being able to see him at all!

Thanks to all who've let me know you're reading my blog--it's the only way I know I'm not just shouting into the void. And as always, thank you for your love and interest in Dad.