Update on Dad 2-12-12

Dear family and friends,

Dad is failing, and my brother John told me tonight that he thought it was "a matter of a very short time" until Dad passes away.

On Friday (the eleventh anniversary of Mom's death), I received a phone call from my friend Barbara (Dad's hospice nurse) at about 2:30 Eastern Time that Dad's renal output was at 100 milliliters in 8 hours--very low--and that he was so lethargic that morning that his aide thought he might be dying. Barbara had called Martha who wasn't going to be available till evening, so I called Lucy and John.

My sister-in-law, Elaine arrived there first, and Dad seemed pretty normal to her, but later, both Bob and Lucy saw changes in him. He had continuous tremors, he was feverish and hot to the touch. His renal output was down (between 100 and 200 milliliters in 8 hours), he refused food. He had 2 sips of thickened water and that was it.

Barbara worked very hard to get morphine and ativan for Dad as quickly as possible. Barbara explained to me that the ativan makes the morphine work better. Barbara told me today the morphine also helps with his breathing. She told me that his breathing was at 40 breaths per minute, very high--14 to 16 is normal and 30 is considered high.

Dad's symptoms are those of renal failure--everything I read on the internet about it said it's considered a gentle death.

Elaine apparently talked to Dad on Friday about not fighting against dying--said that there were many here who love him but many on the other side who do too. (John told me Elaine's said this often to Dad--not just on Friday.)

Since Friday, there's been a family member with Dad at least most of the time. Tonight the siblings in Utah gathered for John to give Dad a blessing. He blessed him with peace and comfort and sealed him up to go be with his wife and siblings on the other side.

When John and I talked tonight after the blessing, John reported that Dad has a fever, that his mouth was open and slack, that he has a deep cough, and that he was pretty unresponsive but startled when my brother-in-law Dave put his mouth close to Dad's ear to speak to him.

I asked John to put the phone by Dad's ear, so I could tell him goodbye. I told him that I loved him and would miss him and that I knew it was time for him to go be with Mom, and I said goodbye to him.

John reported that Dad opened his eyes a little wider when I was talking to him--a response of some kind to my voice or even possibly to what I was saying.

The siblings told Dad that Mom was waiting for him, and Elaine reminded him that when Mom was dying he told her, "When it's my turn, I'll come running!"

Barbara expressed my feelings best when she said, "I'm sad and glad." I'm miss my wonderful dad, but I'm glad he's being released from his life here. I know he'll be much happier to be with Mom.

I'll post again as soon as I get more word from my family in Utah.

Thanks for reading, everyone!