This week, Dad enjoyed some Christmas caroling at the care center, he came to our big Christmas Eve celebration and then had a quiet Christmas Day.
The staff at the center told Martha that on one day last week, three different groups came to the care facility to sing to the residents. Apparently, some of the singers commented on how many of the carols Dad knew--Mom's legacy to Dad and to all her children.
On another day, I brought the teens from the Juvenile Justice facility where I volunteer to sing at the care center. Dad got teary because the singing made him think of Mom.
Martha arranged for Dad to come to our family Christmas Eve celebration--held at the church near Dad's house because we were having such a crowd. I'm not sure what the final count was--maybe 36 people.
The staff at the care center got Dad dressed and helped Martha get him into the car. Family members helped get him out of the car and into the church. He seemed to enjoy the food and ate a lot of "befores," including some pickled herring. He also ate some of the traditional Swedish "dip," gravy with roast beef and sausage that's eaten with heavy bread soaked in the gravy.
Dad even had some rice pudding for dessert! Not usually his favorite dish, but he finished off a bowl of it.
Dad was quiet, but enjoyed a number of short conversations with family members during the evening. We were all glad Dad was able to be there.
On Christmas Day when I visited Dad, he was tired--not surprisingly. I had brought a tape player and his favorite recording of Pride and Prejudice to listen to. Dad chuckled at the first few witty lines, but I wasn't sure that he wasn't just taking his cue from me; then he closed his eyes and went to sleep. I didn't know if Dad was just tired or if he's moving a little further away from us, something that's hard to face.
Today my brothers, Alan and John, visited Dad together. Alan said Dad seemed fairly engaged. He was sitting up in bed, eating breakfast when they arrived. The aide said he'd picked hot cereal to eat. He also had yogurt and juice. The aide comments that if they bring too much food, he won’t eat anything, but if they bring him less, he eats.
Alan said that Dad didn’t say much, but he chuckled at the funny stories.
As always we appreciate your visits to Dad, your interest in him, and your love for him.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
How Dad's doing at the care center
I've had the flu, so I saw Dad on Dec. 8 and then didn't see him again until today, Dec. 20. So I've culled some of this post from what the nurse and others have said about Dad and from a long email from Lucy's husband, Bob Nickelson.
First from me and reports from nurses:
Dad is the star of the care center, loved by everyone. Dad's aide in the daytime told Martha that she loved to hear his stories(!) On Tuesday night when I was there for the Christmas party, the aide came by with her little granddaughter to have Dad meet her.
The head nurse told me that she'd asked Dad how long he and Mom were married, and he thought for a long time, closed his eyes for awhile, and then said to the nurse that when he saw her again, Mom would get after him for not remembering how long they'd been married! Both stories are surprising to me because at home he hasn't been that responsive for a long time. I'm also pleased, but not surprised, that the workers at the facility have taken Dad to their hearts. One aide told me, "Marshall and I have a lot to talk about because we're both from the South."
Here's Bob's report on his visit to Dad on Dec. 9:
I went over and visited with Dad last Wednesday evening from a little after 4pm till about 6:30 pm . He had removed his O2 and it was on the floor but the machine was still running. I visited with him about the fact that if he decided not to wear his O2 that he would become very sick as a result - I then asked him if he wanted me to help him put it back on - he thought about it for a while and then said yes.
Next, Dad and I looked at some photos I took of Christmas lights - he commented on the colors and the people in some of the other photos - for example I showed him the photo I took of Louise [Lucy] and the rain barrel she and I constructed - he said something about it being a good idea. I also showed him two of the videos I took of the concert [Martha's Christmas Chorus that Lucy and her daughter Kari sing in, also Elaine--John's wife, their daughter Lisa, and Katy and Emily, Martha's daughters] - he was able to pick out Martha and Louise - he also commented on how good the video sounded.
Then a small group of primary children came in and sang Christmas music for him and gave him two Christmas ornaments - he thanked them and wished them a Merry Christmas.
I asked if he wanted to try calling and talking to family members using my cell phone and he did want to - so I tried calling Alan first without success and then Christie without success and then we called and talked to John and Lisa - the phone visit seemed like a success - he wished Lisa the best on her last day of classes (at BYU) and told her to hang in there - then Lisa said something about coming to visit after she finished the semester and Dad's response was, "Well I am not sure about visiting - you will need to talk to Ruth about scheduling such a visit."
I think it was interesting that he was with it enough to wish Lisa well with the rest of the semester but then slipped out of reality when Lisa asked about her visiting - that was the only slipping out of reality that happened during the whole time I was there at least as far as I could tell.
Then it was time to eat dinner - he drank all of the liquids served but only ate a bite or two of each of the different solid foods (with me encouraging him to try a little of everything) he did comment to the nurse how dark the bottom of the cookie was twice but he ate most of it anyway.
He called me by name several times and was very happy to see me. He did comment on how itchy he was but he put his hands on top of the blankets as a sign that he was trying hard not to scratch himself - the only complaints he had while I was there was that his back was hurting him and that it was noisy. I think that it was the pain in his back that really prevented him from eating more of his dinner - it just got to a point where he needed to lie back in bed so his back would stop hurting.
When I asked him what he thought about the food being served at the center - his reply was "uh" lifting both hands and arms up - the only thing he seemed really interested in eating was the cookie and he also seemed to like the milk even though it was thick enough you could tip the glass over and the milk and the spoon both remained in the glass. As I was leaving, he wished me well and said he loved me too.
He took his pills just fine and responded well to the nurse and the CNA. All in all it was a good visit.
Back to Alison:
Dad's had a number of visitors in the past two weeks: the Wolfs from our ward--Sheldon was Dad's home teacher for many years; his nephew Laurie (Skip) Craig; his great-nephew David James and his wife and little son; lots of family members. Dad's also had numerous cards and letters from family and friends. If you visit Dad, please remember to sign the log, so we know who's come by--Dad won't be able to remember even though he'll enjoy your visit while you're there.
Tonight when I visited Dad, I reached my brother Alan in the Washington, D.C. area on my cell phone and then my sister Christie in Pittsburgh, so Dad was able to talk on the phone with them for a bit. I took my grandson, Jeffrey, out into the hall during most of the phone calls--the center has a cat, birds, fish, and a dog, and Jeffrey thinks they're fascinating! However, I did overhear Dad telling Alan that he was doing as well as could be expected for being in the hospital--probably a good way for Dad to think about where he is. He told Christie that they mostly ignore him there--not true, but he may feel that way after having a person available to him 24/7 at home.
My friend Barbara, Dad's nurse, told me she was pleased with how Dad seemed when she saw him on Saturday. She said he had a pillow under his ankles just like we had at home and that his heels looked "white as the driven snow"--it's easy for a person's heels to reddden and get bedsores if their heels are flat on the bed. She found one cup of unthickened liquid on his bedside table--he's supposed to only have thickened liquids. When she reported the problem to the nurse, they realized someone new hadn't known to give Dad only thickened liquids, and promised to make sure she knew from now on. Overall, she was very impressed with the care he's getting at the care facility.
We're grateful for your interest in Dad. We're especially aware of the great gift of family at this time of year, and wish you a joyful and happy time as we celebrate Christ's birth.
First from me and reports from nurses:
Dad is the star of the care center, loved by everyone. Dad's aide in the daytime told Martha that she loved to hear his stories(!) On Tuesday night when I was there for the Christmas party, the aide came by with her little granddaughter to have Dad meet her.
The head nurse told me that she'd asked Dad how long he and Mom were married, and he thought for a long time, closed his eyes for awhile, and then said to the nurse that when he saw her again, Mom would get after him for not remembering how long they'd been married! Both stories are surprising to me because at home he hasn't been that responsive for a long time. I'm also pleased, but not surprised, that the workers at the facility have taken Dad to their hearts. One aide told me, "Marshall and I have a lot to talk about because we're both from the South."
Here's Bob's report on his visit to Dad on Dec. 9:
I went over and visited with Dad last Wednesday evening from a little after 4pm till about 6:30 pm . He had removed his O2 and it was on the floor but the machine was still running. I visited with him about the fact that if he decided not to wear his O2 that he would become very sick as a result - I then asked him if he wanted me to help him put it back on - he thought about it for a while and then said yes.
Next, Dad and I looked at some photos I took of Christmas lights - he commented on the colors and the people in some of the other photos - for example I showed him the photo I took of Louise [Lucy] and the rain barrel she and I constructed - he said something about it being a good idea. I also showed him two of the videos I took of the concert [Martha's Christmas Chorus that Lucy and her daughter Kari sing in, also Elaine--John's wife, their daughter Lisa, and Katy and Emily, Martha's daughters] - he was able to pick out Martha and Louise - he also commented on how good the video sounded.
Then a small group of primary children came in and sang Christmas music for him and gave him two Christmas ornaments - he thanked them and wished them a Merry Christmas.
I asked if he wanted to try calling and talking to family members using my cell phone and he did want to - so I tried calling Alan first without success and then Christie without success and then we called and talked to John and Lisa - the phone visit seemed like a success - he wished Lisa the best on her last day of classes (at BYU) and told her to hang in there - then Lisa said something about coming to visit after she finished the semester and Dad's response was, "Well I am not sure about visiting - you will need to talk to Ruth about scheduling such a visit."
I think it was interesting that he was with it enough to wish Lisa well with the rest of the semester but then slipped out of reality when Lisa asked about her visiting - that was the only slipping out of reality that happened during the whole time I was there at least as far as I could tell.
Then it was time to eat dinner - he drank all of the liquids served but only ate a bite or two of each of the different solid foods (with me encouraging him to try a little of everything) he did comment to the nurse how dark the bottom of the cookie was twice but he ate most of it anyway.
He called me by name several times and was very happy to see me. He did comment on how itchy he was but he put his hands on top of the blankets as a sign that he was trying hard not to scratch himself - the only complaints he had while I was there was that his back was hurting him and that it was noisy. I think that it was the pain in his back that really prevented him from eating more of his dinner - it just got to a point where he needed to lie back in bed so his back would stop hurting.
When I asked him what he thought about the food being served at the center - his reply was "uh" lifting both hands and arms up - the only thing he seemed really interested in eating was the cookie and he also seemed to like the milk even though it was thick enough you could tip the glass over and the milk and the spoon both remained in the glass. As I was leaving, he wished me well and said he loved me too.
He took his pills just fine and responded well to the nurse and the CNA. All in all it was a good visit.
Back to Alison:
Dad's had a number of visitors in the past two weeks: the Wolfs from our ward--Sheldon was Dad's home teacher for many years; his nephew Laurie (Skip) Craig; his great-nephew David James and his wife and little son; lots of family members. Dad's also had numerous cards and letters from family and friends. If you visit Dad, please remember to sign the log, so we know who's come by--Dad won't be able to remember even though he'll enjoy your visit while you're there.
Tonight when I visited Dad, I reached my brother Alan in the Washington, D.C. area on my cell phone and then my sister Christie in Pittsburgh, so Dad was able to talk on the phone with them for a bit. I took my grandson, Jeffrey, out into the hall during most of the phone calls--the center has a cat, birds, fish, and a dog, and Jeffrey thinks they're fascinating! However, I did overhear Dad telling Alan that he was doing as well as could be expected for being in the hospital--probably a good way for Dad to think about where he is. He told Christie that they mostly ignore him there--not true, but he may feel that way after having a person available to him 24/7 at home.
My friend Barbara, Dad's nurse, told me she was pleased with how Dad seemed when she saw him on Saturday. She said he had a pillow under his ankles just like we had at home and that his heels looked "white as the driven snow"--it's easy for a person's heels to reddden and get bedsores if their heels are flat on the bed. She found one cup of unthickened liquid on his bedside table--he's supposed to only have thickened liquids. When she reported the problem to the nurse, they realized someone new hadn't known to give Dad only thickened liquids, and promised to make sure she knew from now on. Overall, she was very impressed with the care he's getting at the care facility.
We're grateful for your interest in Dad. We're especially aware of the great gift of family at this time of year, and wish you a joyful and happy time as we celebrate Christ's birth.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Dad's transfer to Hobble Creek Care Center
Sorry, I didn't realize how long it's been since I wrote an update on Dad.
Since the 18th of November, we've had Thanksgiving dinner at our house; however, Dad wasn't able to participate much. He was already hallucinating a bit before the family arrived, and though he didn't come to dinner, he had a number of visitors, so he was hallucinating a lot by the end of the day. (Dad ate a meal of Thanksgiving favorites in his bedroom with Martha.)
He had a pretty normal week, but last Sunday he again had lots of visitors because people knew he would be going into the care center during the week. He usually is willing to come into the livingroom a couple of times in the week, but that day, he wanted to come out twice. The second time, I didn't think he could walk that far even with his walker, so I tried to get him into his wheelchair. He couldn't figure out how to turn around to sit down in it, so I had to hold him up and keep saying, "Turn your feet." I finally got him into the wheelchair and into the livingroom, but instead of being willing to stay in the wheelchair as I'd expected, he wanted to sit on the couch. Again, I had to support his weight and direct him how to turn his feet, so he could sit on the couch.
Dad's grandson, Michael Craig (John and Elaine's adopted son) came by with his wife to visit while Dad was in the livingroom. It was providential because when Dad needed to get up and go back to his room, I needed Michael's help to get him back in his wheelchair, onto the commode, and back into bed.
That night I gave Dad a small dose of anti-psychotic medication (haldol) we're to use if he's hallucinating. It didn't work--he was awake and talking all night long--which meant I was also awake all night long. More haldol and a sleeping pill didn't help. Monday morning, Dad was still awake and hallucinating, calling to me whenever I left the room. Two more doses of haldol in the morning still didn't help. In the morning, I got Dad on the commode--he was even worse in terms of being able to stand up, balance himself, turn around, etc. I left the room briefly, and when I got back into the room, Dad was sliding off the side of the bed! He'd tried to get back in bed without help.
I was so distraught, I yelled at him--something I never do. When I told him he couldn't get himself from the commode without help, he said, "Well, the truth is, I wasn't on the commode." Still being sweet and mild-mannered, but just not aware of what he was doing!
By the end of the morning, I called Martha to say we needed to get Dad into the care center that day--I was just at the end of my rope. We did get him admitted Monday evening. But in the meantime, the hospice doctor had us give Dad 10 more milligrams of haldol--on top of what I'd already given him. The doctor expected it to knock him out, but it didn't--it just made him agitated. While waiting for the ambulance come to transport Dad to the care facility, Bob (Lucy's husband) and Dave (Martha's husband) gave Dad a priesthood blessing. Then the two of them stood on either side of the bed, just holding on to Dad, calming him, and keeping him from climbing out of bed, which he was trying to do at least once every minute.
Dad was awake all night at the care center Monday night and all morning Tuesday morning. Finally on Tuesday afternoon, Dad fell asleep, and starting on Wed., Dad became more lucid. The rest of the week, he's been lucid for the most part.
He's had a number of conversations with people about where he is--he doesn't remember. I especially liked the answer the hospice chaplain gave him. When Dad said he didn't know where he was, the chaplain said, "You're in a place where they can take care of you 24 hours a day, so you'll get the kind of care you need." (When he was telling me what he'd told Dad, he said, "Of course, you were helping him in the night." I understood, and really liked his response because it was emphasizing the positive rather than focusing on our inability to keep Dad at home.)
I feel like Heavenly Father made sure that Sunday and Monday were so awful that I would know that we absolutely couldn't keep Dad at home any longer. Because it was so clear to me that he needed to be in the care center, I woke up on Tuesday morning feeling peaceful and relieved.
I also told John about a "conversation" I had with Mom about putting Dad into a care facility. A week ago Saturday, I was talking to Mom in my mind, saying, "I'm sorry we weren't able to keep Dad hom until he died." A memory came to my mind with such sharpness, it was like a reply. I remembered that when Mom's mother refused to go into a care facility, Mom told all of us that if we ever needed to put them into a care facility, she was telling us that we had their permission to do it. I felt comforted by that memory also and felt that Mom was accepting and approving of our decision.
If you're nearby, feel free to visit Dad at Hobble Creek Care Center at 469 N. Main in Springville. Remind him who you are, visit for 5 or 10 minutes only, and please sign the visitors' log, the notebook on his dresser. (Although Dad will enjoy the visit, he won't remember who visited, so the log will help us know you've stopped by.)
We're going to talk to the staff about getting Dad a cell phone, so people can call him, but right now there isn't a way to phone Dad.
As always, we appreciate your interest, love, and prayers.
Since the 18th of November, we've had Thanksgiving dinner at our house; however, Dad wasn't able to participate much. He was already hallucinating a bit before the family arrived, and though he didn't come to dinner, he had a number of visitors, so he was hallucinating a lot by the end of the day. (Dad ate a meal of Thanksgiving favorites in his bedroom with Martha.)
He had a pretty normal week, but last Sunday he again had lots of visitors because people knew he would be going into the care center during the week. He usually is willing to come into the livingroom a couple of times in the week, but that day, he wanted to come out twice. The second time, I didn't think he could walk that far even with his walker, so I tried to get him into his wheelchair. He couldn't figure out how to turn around to sit down in it, so I had to hold him up and keep saying, "Turn your feet." I finally got him into the wheelchair and into the livingroom, but instead of being willing to stay in the wheelchair as I'd expected, he wanted to sit on the couch. Again, I had to support his weight and direct him how to turn his feet, so he could sit on the couch.
Dad's grandson, Michael Craig (John and Elaine's adopted son) came by with his wife to visit while Dad was in the livingroom. It was providential because when Dad needed to get up and go back to his room, I needed Michael's help to get him back in his wheelchair, onto the commode, and back into bed.
That night I gave Dad a small dose of anti-psychotic medication (haldol) we're to use if he's hallucinating. It didn't work--he was awake and talking all night long--which meant I was also awake all night long. More haldol and a sleeping pill didn't help. Monday morning, Dad was still awake and hallucinating, calling to me whenever I left the room. Two more doses of haldol in the morning still didn't help. In the morning, I got Dad on the commode--he was even worse in terms of being able to stand up, balance himself, turn around, etc. I left the room briefly, and when I got back into the room, Dad was sliding off the side of the bed! He'd tried to get back in bed without help.
I was so distraught, I yelled at him--something I never do. When I told him he couldn't get himself from the commode without help, he said, "Well, the truth is, I wasn't on the commode." Still being sweet and mild-mannered, but just not aware of what he was doing!
By the end of the morning, I called Martha to say we needed to get Dad into the care center that day--I was just at the end of my rope. We did get him admitted Monday evening. But in the meantime, the hospice doctor had us give Dad 10 more milligrams of haldol--on top of what I'd already given him. The doctor expected it to knock him out, but it didn't--it just made him agitated. While waiting for the ambulance come to transport Dad to the care facility, Bob (Lucy's husband) and Dave (Martha's husband) gave Dad a priesthood blessing. Then the two of them stood on either side of the bed, just holding on to Dad, calming him, and keeping him from climbing out of bed, which he was trying to do at least once every minute.
Dad was awake all night at the care center Monday night and all morning Tuesday morning. Finally on Tuesday afternoon, Dad fell asleep, and starting on Wed., Dad became more lucid. The rest of the week, he's been lucid for the most part.
He's had a number of conversations with people about where he is--he doesn't remember. I especially liked the answer the hospice chaplain gave him. When Dad said he didn't know where he was, the chaplain said, "You're in a place where they can take care of you 24 hours a day, so you'll get the kind of care you need." (When he was telling me what he'd told Dad, he said, "Of course, you were helping him in the night." I understood, and really liked his response because it was emphasizing the positive rather than focusing on our inability to keep Dad at home.)
I feel like Heavenly Father made sure that Sunday and Monday were so awful that I would know that we absolutely couldn't keep Dad at home any longer. Because it was so clear to me that he needed to be in the care center, I woke up on Tuesday morning feeling peaceful and relieved.
I also told John about a "conversation" I had with Mom about putting Dad into a care facility. A week ago Saturday, I was talking to Mom in my mind, saying, "I'm sorry we weren't able to keep Dad hom until he died." A memory came to my mind with such sharpness, it was like a reply. I remembered that when Mom's mother refused to go into a care facility, Mom told all of us that if we ever needed to put them into a care facility, she was telling us that we had their permission to do it. I felt comforted by that memory also and felt that Mom was accepting and approving of our decision.
If you're nearby, feel free to visit Dad at Hobble Creek Care Center at 469 N. Main in Springville. Remind him who you are, visit for 5 or 10 minutes only, and please sign the visitors' log, the notebook on his dresser. (Although Dad will enjoy the visit, he won't remember who visited, so the log will help us know you've stopped by.)
We're going to talk to the staff about getting Dad a cell phone, so people can call him, but right now there isn't a way to phone Dad.
As always, we appreciate your interest, love, and prayers.
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