Dad's transfer to Hobble Creek Care Center

Sorry, I didn't realize how long it's been since I wrote an update on Dad.

Since the 18th of November, we've had Thanksgiving dinner at our house; however, Dad wasn't able to participate much. He was already hallucinating a bit before the family arrived, and though he didn't come to dinner, he had a number of visitors, so he was hallucinating a lot by the end of the day. (Dad ate a meal of Thanksgiving favorites in his bedroom with Martha.)

He had a pretty normal week, but last Sunday he again had lots of visitors because people knew he would be going into the care center during the week. He usually is willing to come into the livingroom a couple of times in the week, but that day, he wanted to come out twice. The second time, I didn't think he could walk that far even with his walker, so I tried to get him into his wheelchair. He couldn't figure out how to turn around to sit down in it, so I had to hold him up and keep saying, "Turn your feet." I finally got him into the wheelchair and into the livingroom, but instead of being willing to stay in the wheelchair as I'd expected, he wanted to sit on the couch. Again, I had to support his weight and direct him how to turn his feet, so he could sit on the couch.

Dad's grandson, Michael Craig (John and Elaine's adopted son) came by with his wife to visit while Dad was in the livingroom. It was providential because when Dad needed to get up and go back to his room, I needed Michael's help to get him back in his wheelchair, onto the commode, and back into bed.

That night I gave Dad a small dose of anti-psychotic medication (haldol) we're to use if he's hallucinating. It didn't work--he was awake and talking all night long--which meant I was also awake all night long. More haldol and a sleeping pill didn't help. Monday morning, Dad was still awake and hallucinating, calling to me whenever I left the room. Two more doses of haldol in the morning still didn't help. In the morning, I got Dad on the commode--he was even worse in terms of being able to stand up, balance himself, turn around, etc. I left the room briefly, and when I got back into the room, Dad was sliding off the side of the bed! He'd tried to get back in bed without help.

I was so distraught, I yelled at him--something I never do. When I told him he couldn't get himself from the commode without help, he said, "Well, the truth is, I wasn't on the commode." Still being sweet and mild-mannered, but just not aware of what he was doing!

By the end of the morning, I called Martha to say we needed to get Dad into the care center that day--I was just at the end of my rope. We did get him admitted Monday evening. But in the meantime, the hospice doctor had us give Dad 10 more milligrams of haldol--on top of what I'd already given him. The doctor expected it to knock him out, but it didn't--it just made him agitated. While waiting for the ambulance come to transport Dad to the care facility, Bob (Lucy's husband) and Dave (Martha's husband) gave Dad a priesthood blessing. Then the two of them stood on either side of the bed, just holding on to Dad, calming him, and keeping him from climbing out of bed, which he was trying to do at least once every minute.

Dad was awake all night at the care center Monday night and all morning Tuesday morning. Finally on Tuesday afternoon, Dad fell asleep, and starting on Wed., Dad became more lucid. The rest of the week, he's been lucid for the most part.

He's had a number of conversations with people about where he is--he doesn't remember. I especially liked the answer the hospice chaplain gave him. When Dad said he didn't know where he was, the chaplain said, "You're in a place where they can take care of you 24 hours a day, so you'll get the kind of care you need." (When he was telling me what he'd told Dad, he said, "Of course, you were helping him in the night." I understood, and really liked his response because it was emphasizing the positive rather than focusing on our inability to keep Dad at home.)

I feel like Heavenly Father made sure that Sunday and Monday were so awful that I would know that we absolutely couldn't keep Dad at home any longer. Because it was so clear to me that he needed to be in the care center, I woke up on Tuesday morning feeling peaceful and relieved.

I also told John about a "conversation" I had with Mom about putting Dad into a care facility. A week ago Saturday, I was talking to Mom in my mind, saying, "I'm sorry we weren't able to keep Dad hom until he died." A memory came to my mind with such sharpness, it was like a reply. I remembered that when Mom's mother refused to go into a care facility, Mom told all of us that if we ever needed to put them into a care facility, she was telling us that we had their permission to do it. I felt comforted by that memory also and felt that Mom was accepting and approving of our decision.

If you're nearby, feel free to visit Dad at Hobble Creek Care Center at 469 N. Main in Springville. Remind him who you are, visit for 5 or 10 minutes only, and please sign the visitors' log, the notebook on his dresser. (Although Dad will enjoy the visit, he won't remember who visited, so the log will help us know you've stopped by.)

We're going to talk to the staff about getting Dad a cell phone, so people can call him, but right now there isn't a way to phone Dad.

As always, we appreciate your interest, love, and prayers.