Update on Dad 1-1-12

Happy New Year, Everyone!

I've been to visit Dad twice since my last post and have heard from others about their visits, and it makes me very grateful that I was able to have such a good visit with him when I first arrived.

Several family members have told me that their recent visits to Dad have been very brief, with Dad hardly able to stay awake even though he's glad to see them. One member of our ward (our church congregation) told me today that he's stopped visiting because Dad doesn't recognize him anymore. Another member of the ward told me he still visits Dad monthly, going in the mornings when Dad's not as tired.

I visited Dad Friday night with my brother-in-law Bob Nickelson (who has a better phone than I do). We called my brother Alan who's on a mission in Porto Alegre, Brazil, so he could talk to Dad. Dad was happy to hear from Alan and seemed to clearly know who he was, but he closed his eyes and seemed to doze as Alan, Bob and I talked. However, when I tried to rouse him, saying, "Can you hear Alan on the phone?" Dad said, "Yes," his tone suggesting that of course he could hear him.

At the end of our conversation, Alan told Dad that he loved him, and Dad said, "The feeling is mutual!" When Alan wished Dad a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Dad said, "A Happy New Year to you too." I think Dad was happy for us to come and then happy for us to go, so he he could sleep.

Today I went to see Dad with my sister Martha and her husband Dave. We met our niece Ruth Hamilton (Christie and Duane Seppi's daughter), her husband, Alan, and their two-year-old daughter, Eliana, coming out of Dad's room. Eliana told us about visiting Pappa-daddy and showing him her doll; she told us several times that "He's a little older."

When we went in to see Dad, Eliana decided to come in again too, so we all went in. She talked to Pappa-daddy in her high voice, and Dad reached out and held her hand often. She was surprised that Pappa-daddy was "shaking her hand." She was pleased to discover Pappa-daddy's "roll-y chair"--his wheelchair--and climbed in, chattering away about her doll in her "carrier." She had a great time even though Dad wasn't very responsive, occasionally clicking his tongue or making other noises, and saying hi every once in a while. Ruth took a number of pictures of Eliana with Pappa-daddy that I'm sure will be precious to them after Dad is gone.

Martha read Dad part of a Christmas letter from friends and showed Dad a picture that came with the letter. I told Dad a story about Jeffrey--one I'd told him before about Jeffrey not wanting to wear the apron I made for him--and showed him a picture on my phone. I'm not sure if he could really see it or not, but he interacted with me briefly then. Most of the time Dad had his eyes closed and seemed on the verge of sleep. I'm hoping that seeing Dad starting to slip away from us will make it easier for me to not grieve so much when he does go.

I'm so grateful that I had such a good talk when I first arrived, and I'm hoping to be ready to wish Dad bon voyage when he's ready to leave this life and go on to the next.

As always, thank you for your love and concern.