Update on Dad 1/15/12

Hello, Everyone,

My report tonight comes from my sister Martha and from my phone call with Dad tonight.

Martha said she was able to visit Dad three times this past week. She said their first visit was the most distressing visit she and her husband Dave have had with Dad. Dad wasn't in his room - he'd apparently been to dinner and then had been in the day room. When he was brought back to his room, he told the aide he wasn't ready to go back to bed, but he sat in his chair hunched over, with his head on his chest, and said none of the things he usually says like "It's good to see you"or "You're looking good," he just wasn't responsive.

Martha tried to give him one of the treats he has by his bed. She broke off a piece of cookie to give him. Then she tried to give him another and realized he was still chewing the first piece, so she tried to just have him hold the second piece. He couldn't grasp it for a time but finally did, but Martha could see he wasn't going to do anything with it. Martha said he also choked on the water she gave him to sip. Hopefully they can get some thickened liquids to keep by his bed.

When Martha talked to Barbara, the hospice nurse, about how Dad was that day, Barbara asked if Dad had had his oxygen on. He hadn't - which means he was without it through dinner and then for the time he was in the day room, so that may have been the cause of his being so unresponsive. (You can see why we value Barbara so highly- such insight!)

Martha and Dave also visited Dad last night. They reported that he was more responsive yesterday.

Then Martha visited Dad today in the early afternoon while Dave was busy with church assignments. She said today was the best visit in quite a long time. He chuckled some and was responsive to the story she told him. She thinks early afternoon is a better time to visit Dad and hopes to be able to fit in more visits earlier in the day.

When I spoke to Dad on the phone tonight, I felt that though he was engaged in what I was telling him, he struggled more to be able to respond. I told him about my new calling (church assignment), but I'll wait to name it here until next time I write when it will be official. He started to try to say something but then nothing really came out. I said to him, "You can wish me luck!" He said, "I do."

Since I'm not sure he remembers that I have grandchildren, I said to him, "Do you remember that I have a grandson who's three years old? "Oh, my!" I told him Jeffrey's been watching a British children's show on TV (Kipper). Today Jeffrey said to my daughter, "Let's have a go," a British expression he's picked up from the show. Dad laughed without any prompting! I mentioned that Jeffrey also talks about "conkers," also mentioned on the show (though I don't think Jeffrey really knows what they are) and Jeffrey likes to pretend to go camping like Kipper and his friend do on one episode. Dad said, "Well, good."

I told him my granddaughter Evelyn is 10 months old now and doing baby signs. She signs "more," "milk," "food," "all done," and "dog." Dad responded, "Wonderful, wonderful!"

I told Dad it was good to talk to him, and again, he seemed to want to say something but couldn't get the words out, so I said, "I hope it's good to hear from me too." "Yes, it is," he said.

Then Dad said, "Well . . . " and couldn't get more out.

I said, "I hope you have a good evening," and he said, "It's just starting." (Seems like he was getting warmed up as he does.)

When I told him I loved him, he said, "Much love to you and your family," and as I said goodbye, said, "Thank you, thank you!"

Even though I had to supply some of his words for him, it felt like we had a real conversation. As Dad might say, "Lovely, lovely!"